放下矜持?

昨天和姑妈聊天，她又催我，如果找到一个让我眼前一亮的人，就算放下矜持，也要赶快行动。

说真的。如果找到一个可以让我心跳加速、眼前一亮的人，我或许真的会主动出击吧。

但，环顾我身边、想想那么多年以来，还没有一个人能让我有那样的感觉。

我也不知道是理性过了头，还是习惯了，就是没有感觉。

就算身边的男性朋友有多么好，和我多么投契，就是没有感觉。

可能是他们没有追我，也可能是我直接把他们归类在非恋爱的种类。

我觉得感觉真的很重要，尽管条件也相当重要。

条件不差的人我认识不少，有感觉的人却没有。物以稀为贵，所以我会认为，感觉比条件更重要吧。

只是，我怀疑我还可以坚持几年?

年纪越来越大，市场价值就越来越贬值。面对这样的现实，我还可以坚持多久的 “感觉” 呢?

或许有一天，我会认清感觉只是一种都市童话，虚无缥缈。然后，庸庸碌碌一生，或随便找个条件还好的人嫁了。

这就是现实了。

Past Weekend

It was a pretty eventful weekend.

Friday – Went to E and L’s house warming and met S. It was pretty ok. We behaved normally just like friends. Even though I tried to ask him like how’s his work, but still feel a bit awkward. Actually, what I really want to know is how his ah ma is. But never really got the chance to ask. Anyway, the episode ended just like that, without me feeling too disturbed or what. Perhaps, time can really heal.

有些人在你生命里，注定只是个过客。 你以为他就这样走了，一点东西都不留。其实，最珍贵的东西，他并没有也无法带走。

那就是回忆。

虽然我不一定全都记得，但一些特别的回忆，还是很难忘记的。

最感动的事、最惊喜的事、最窝心的事、最伤心的事、最痛的事。

感谢那个伤你心的人，因为他必然也给了你难忘的甜蜜回忆。

Sat - I went to my salsa class, went shopping in raffles city and finally 捞鱼生with a group of friends.

My Salsa class is great. Sexy instructor(ess) and nice classmates. But too bad that instructor did not dance with me (sob~) and I’m the only gal in the class that he did not dance with (sob sob~). After the class, I went to sign up for the recital (student performance), which is at the end of Mar. Quite excited and a bit nervous about it.

When I was Q-ing to sign up, the sexy instructor came and asked how come roomie is not signing up and he jokingly smack her on the arm. After that, think he thought it’s a bit too hard, so he sayang her on the same spot….LUCKY ROOMIE! N I was so jealous….Haha..

After that, Roomie and I went shopping at raffles city. I bought a top and a casual bag…*Happy!*. I saw this bangle at Dorothy Perkins and was struggling whether to buy or not. I keep pacing here and there in the store. Finally, I decided not to succumb to my temptation and walked away, though I’m still a bit 心痒痒….

Cos of the shopping, Roomie and I were a bit late to meet the people. On our way to the restaurant, W lent me the TVB shows vcd, real grateful to him cos I can start to indulge in my TVB drama world again…

X lent me AJ’s book. I read some yesterday and found it real enlightening. Been reading religious books lately. Christian’s and buddhism’s and I realised I really cannot stand the former, cos I dun really believe, though I feel that some of the stories are interesting to read as a fiction.

捞鱼生was ok. The guys were quite 自动。Like W helped everyone ordered the dishes and helped to pour tea, the rest auto rotated the dishes so that everyone will get to eat everything. Just that, after dinner, we were a bit stoned/ nothing to talk about. So X and I came up with a few cold jokes and riddles to break the ice.

After that, we went to the 牛车水area to walk walk. G was kind enough to help me carry my 战利品 until we reach 牛车水。The place was so crowded and hot that I din reli shop around, only managed to follow the crowd and walk. While walking, coincidentally, I saw BFF, her bf and family eating, so I enthusiatically went to say hello to her. But dunno what happened, she or her bf seems a bit cold towards me, so I just siam quickly.

Due to I 打招呼, I sorta got lost from the group who was walking briskly in front. Heng, G waited for me (or I asked him to wait? I 4got…). Anyway, we caught up with the group shortly. After the walking and sweating, we decided to find a place to rest. GB led us to a lesbian bar and I think I saw my ex-KP junior with a table of gals. Well, I’m not very shocked since we sorta knew it last time.

Finally, we went to partyworld. Great! Had craving for quite sometime, finally satisfied. Surprisingly, M can sing really well, not only chinese, but canto songs as well. I especially like the song he sang with X – 相爱很难. Part of the lyrice is very meaningful…like:

也许相爱很难 就难在其实双方各有各寄望 怎么办
要单恋都难 受太大的礼会内疚却也无力归还
也许不爱不难 但如未成佛升仙也会怕 爱情前途黯淡
爱不爱都难 未快乐先有责任给予对方面露欢颜
得到浪漫又要有空间
得到定局却怕去到终站
然后付出多得到少不介意豁达
又担心有人看不过眼

Then, R and G also sang 制造浪漫together. Maybe if it’s others, I dun feel strange la. But cos it’s the 2 of them, I keep feeling very fishy…haha….I keep feeling that cos it’s R who is singing the lady’s part, that’s why he picked up the mic to sing the male’s part..hmmm…

But actually, I think G is a person whom I have a lot of difficulty trying to classify. I mean u know, in general,  based on the impression or deeper understanding, you should be able to categorize certain people. But I think either I really dunno him enough, or he’s 深不可测。Not my business anyway. I just hope he’s not a 王八蛋.

Oh and I think all of us gals are gems! We are interesting in our own way and i think those guys are so lucky to be able to get to know us. HAHAH…The more I see us, the more I feel that the guys are too slow in their actions le…haiz~

Another feeling-ultra-confident-for-dunno-watsoever-reason day….

P/S: Think I have difficulty accessing FB today…Hope the company dun deprive me of my only joy by banning the website~ =(

小点滴

当我以为爱情来了，它却只是擦身而过。

有点失落，但不失望。

因为我知道，错的人不留下，是为了让座给那个对的人。

我坚信，对的人会排山倒海地来，谁也挡不住。

我希望，我仍相信，直到那一天的到来。

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我享受自己宠爱自己。

护肤品、美容药丸、SPA、GYM等等。虽然有点贵，花钱的时候，有小小的心疼，但我还是享受的。

接下来，我要买包包、皮夹、手表、衣服、手机、随身听等。

有点败家的味道。但也只有在这时候，我庆幸我有份工作，可以支撑我对自己的宠爱。

CMI’s defence (or love?)

While I’m writing this post, CMI is on the line, defending her daughter.

What happened is: Her daughter went for a school-approved excursion and as a result she skipped her arts class. Then, the arts teacher called CMI and said that she is going to book her daughter for skipping the lesson.

Teacher’s view is that if any student is going to skip her lesson, the student should inform her or actually arts students are not allowed to skip lesson at all, for whatsoever reason.

CMI’s view is that it is a school-approved excursion and if arts students are not allowed to attend, they should indicate it in the excursion parent approval form. In addition, CMI’s daughter said that she did inform the teacher, just that the teacher forgot.

As a result, it was escalated to the HOD. Basically, school’s view is to instil discipline and CMI’s view is not to punish students unreasonably and not to dampen student’s morale especially when they are sitting for O level this year.

And the story goes on….

I guess this incident mainly highlight that it’s not easy being a teacher anymore as students and parents have higher expectation of them. Teachers have to constantly face challenges from students and their parents. It is really not an easy job.

Well, come to think of it: The era has changed. No longer our era that “Teachers are always right” and “Take in whatever teacher gives – no matter rewards or punishments”.

Although I dun reli like it that CMI intervene so much in her daughter’s affair, I do admire her love for her daughter. Having said so much, who knows that I might be doing even more for my kids if one day I become a mother myself.

男人的胸肌和男人的嘴

昨天看了《锦衣卫》，特别为甄子丹的胸肌着迷。他的胸肌还有上面的刺青，好man 啊!

那是他出浴的一场戏。他裸露上身，走向赵薇。两个人对望，却不说一句话。但他们之间的氛围，是紧张的。

我喜欢这场戏，也因为它不像其他通俗的情节。尽管他们的感情在那刹那，很像要满溢出来，但最后什么事都没有发生。

男人的胸肌，真让我窒息。

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有些男人，不知道是习惯还是喜欢，常常嘴花花。

同一张嘴，可以说出让你飞上云霄的话，也可以说出让你心碎的话。

话，说得天花乱坠，让你千般万般误会。

到最后，他们就一脸无辜地说，一切只是无心的玩笑话。

多可恶。

很想问问他们，这样的嘴花花，他们真的快乐吗?

还是，只是借由这般，来掩饰他们的自卑。

因为自卑，所以用半开玩笑的嘴花，帮他们追女孩?

哪个女孩因为如此，而对他们有好感，他们就成功了一半吧。

发现我，不是越来越不懂爱情，而是越来越不懂男人。

To Roomie…

年纪越大，就越不清楚自己喜欢的，是怎么样的人。这，是正常的。

我会突然发现我的要求越来越简化，实质的要求越来越少。

那个人，不需要多富有、多帅、多聪明，只需要和他多一点感觉、多一点谈的来、多一点心动。

是心态成熟，还是为社会压力所屈服?

或许并不是最重要的。

这只是说明了: 喜欢的标准不同，代表了已踏入人生的另一个阶段。

将会发生什么事，才是最让人所期待的。

如果有感觉，请你勇敢爱。

如果心动了，就让它延续吧。

幸福的生活

幸福的生活，有时需要自己努力达成、刻意追求。有时，只在自己的转念间，世界就变得很辽阔。

我的幸福生活是: 身体健康 + 每天觉得自己最好 + 为所欲为。

健康是生活的基础。少了它，很多事情都不可以作了。

有一天，Tata 对我说 “I’m pretty, sweet and cute!” 让我超开心的。虽然，这不尽然是事实，但听了总是觉得很爽。跑步时，我还常常用这句话来鼓励自己 — I’m pretty, sweet and cute AND I can run a marathon!

哈哈! 这句话还不至于让我的自信心膨胀，但却让我 feel good~

为所欲为很像是坏人的行为。可是，幸福的人是应该想什么，就有什么的。所以，我希望可以为所欲为。想做什么，就可以做什么，如: 旅行啊，大吃一顿啊，或大肆买东西、乱花钱等。

没有限制的人生，多幸福啊。

还有，我觉得要懂得欣赏身边的一切，哪怕是很细微的事。

晚上，走在回家的路上，我都会抬头看看。有时，有皎洁的月亮和闪闪的星星。有时，有凉风迎面吹来。全部都让我觉得，生活真的很好。

有时，我也会乘着没有人的时候，在路上唱歌。只要没有人发现我，整个过程其实是挺 relaxing 的。

我的生活，感觉上，离幸福不是太远了。

Marathon

One of my 2010 resolution is to take part in a marathon. Initially, I was thinking of the 5km Shape Run, cos 5km seems achievable.

But recently, I signed up for a 10km marathon with 2 gals. N I decided I should train for it.

Yesterday, I went to the gym. Running and walking on the treadmill and the total distance I covered is……………………6.4km.

Haiz…still short of 3.6km…But I was already so tired that as if my knees were giving way…

Actually, I think the total distance I ran is only 3km i.e. I walked the rest of the distance.

Neverthless, as I was running…I’m already regretting and cursing away…why on earth do I want to take up this tough thing?? When my resolution only requires me to go for the 5km marathon??

Truly 自讨苦吃…

Hermit有时，active有时

Earlier on, I preferred to be on hermit mode – Doing things alone and dun feel like stepping out of my neighbourhood.

Recently, I seems to be on an active mode – Keep wanting to go here and there, do this and that. However, timing and companion wise keep cannot coordinate. I have people turning me down most of the time. So feeling a bit demotivated….I think I’ll be on the hermit mode soon.

To clarify – organise outing is not cos I’m desperate to know guys or to fall in love but I just feel like going out and not on my own. Maybe no one think of me this way, but when I reflect, I think I do give people this impression. After that, I feel a bit sianz…

I might be thinking too much liao…But I think I’m going on to hermit mode soon~

不懂的事

最近身边发生的一些事，让我真的对男生很不了解。

为什么会有男生在认识了女生的一年以来，从来没有行动? 一直到最近才表现出对她有好感?

难道，现在的男生对感情，有太多现实的考量? 可能觉得再找不到其他人，才终于决定行动?

那感觉呢? 不是应该最重要的吗?

我还以为每个人的模式，都是感觉对了，就追求，然后在一起。想不到，现在的模式竟然变了。

我还要投诉的是，男生一点积极都没有。明明大家都知道，某个男生对某个女生有意思，但每次的聚会都是女生提议的。

男生也太被动了吧? 虽然不是当事人，但还真看不惯。

女生都被迫变成强者了。